China's tyrant Xi Jinping headed to South Korea for the APEC summit, where he rubbed elbows with US President, the Japanese Prime Minister, and the Canadian Prime Minister. He also seized the moment to spout some serious hot air at the meeting.

This time around, it's painfully obvious that Xi's movements are sluggish, like he's barely clinging to life.

Such a tortoise-like pace—could it be a deliberate show of that smug "Celestial Empire" superiority complex, or has years of iron-fisted rule finally drained the life out of him? Or maybe the endless stacks of domestic and international screw-ups have got him so pissed off he wants to flip the table?

One question for you, oh great dictator Xi Jinping: Is this frail, flickering-candle-in-the-wind vibe your grand final bow, or just a pathetic last hurrah before the lights go out?